The princesse is moving again

The swedish princesse Madeleine is moving to another country again.

Read more in the swedish newspaper Aftonbladet and shut up in the library...

The cat in the station wagon

A cat in a station wagon is a carpet (car pet).

/Shut up in the library

Bigger brests with toilet paper

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have
plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do
that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that
make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

To wallpaper a room

-How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
-One, but you have to slice him very thin!

I am always right!

I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.

Learn to love yourself!

You need to love yourself to love anyone else!

/Shut up in the library

Learn to fish!

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

Animals are made with meat

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

Go to circus

Some of us visit the circus, some of us are clowns...

/Shut up in the library

Sweden makes goals in the Ice Hockey World Championship

Don´t miss the Ice Hockey World Championship!

Ice Hockey is the sport to love!


/Shut up in the library

Asked God for a bike

Don´t ask God for a bike, he doesn´t work that way...

/Shut up in the library

Do not argue with an idiot

Do not argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down to
his level and beat you with
experience.

A happy meeting?

It´s nice to meet some people, but some people is more nice to NOT see...

/Shut up in the library

Don´t miss the Ice Hockey World Championship

Don´t miss the Ice Hockey World Championship!

Ice Hockey is the sport to love!

/Shut up in the library

A broken car is not a Volvo

Buy a good car, buy a Volvo!

/Shut up in the library

Monday mornings

What about monday mornings? Waking up early or sleep more?

/Shut up in the library

To be or not to be a king

To be king - or just a little bit of fur in a shoe...

/Shut up in the library

Cats or dogs?

Pets in all honor, but to you want a cat or a dog? That´s the questtion!

/Shut up in the library

Who found america?

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map.

Maria: This is it. 


Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? 


Class: Maria did. 

The longest word in english

-What is the longest word in the
English language?
-”Smiles”...
-How can it be?!
-There is a mile between the
first and last letters!"