Poor man...

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 
Wife: "What does that mean?" 
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Relations...

Relations and ears on a rabbit...

/Shut up in the library

I need a diet....

I took a picture of you last christmas and it´s still printing...

/Shut up in the library

The fat cow...

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

A bear with no socks

What is a bear without socks?

Bare-foot...

/Shut up in the library

The crazy people way...

-Which is the way chosen
by crazy people?

-The psycho path!

The doctor´s second opinion

Do you really need doctor´s second opinon when you are sick?

/Shut up in the library

It hurts...

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.” 
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?” 
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.” 
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you - you’ve broken your finger!”

Richard Nixon did not burn the tapes...

"I was under medication when I made
the decision not to burn the tapes."

(President Richard Nixon)

Coffee, a chair or a high five?

Sometimes you need coffee. Or a high five. And a chair...

/Shut up in the library